It has been a few weeks since I shared a post. I needed to take some time off from creating and posting; I had got myself into a place where I was feeling very overwhelmed and was over-analysing every detail of what I was posting. Perfectionism had really got a hold on me, and my ADHD brain was hyper-focused on doing more. It wasn’t allowing me to take time to breathe.
I talk about the importance of self-care a lot on this blog, but I am also well aware that sometimes making it a priority can be hard. Sometimes I am really good at giving myself the care that I need, and sometimes I am not. I will know what I need but just blatantly ignore it and just keep pushing through instead of allowing myself what I actually need. Which is usually some sort of rest.
I have used this time to allow myself the rest I needed, figure out what my needs are and start exploring and analysing why I feel this need to be constantly productive and why perfectionism has a hold over me when I share something.
(I recently shared a post on ‘Why Perfectionism is Stifling My Creativity and Mental Health ’; you can read more about that here.)
During this time, I came across a few things that indicated that I was on the right path, that taking this time to practice stillness and work through the things that are causing me unnecessary stress was what I needed to do.
I have really been wanting to get back into reading magazines like I did in my teens and twenties as part of a mindfulness practice. I wasn’t sure what I was looking for to begin with, but I came across a magazine called ‘Breathe’ (featured in the pictured below). When I saw it in the shop and was flicking through it, I felt like it was perfect for me in that moment.
The topics explored in this magazine centre around wellbeing and mindfulness, which are perfect for me right now. I also love that they feature human artists in their magazine; you even get a little art print with the art that is featured on the cover (and information on the artist) to keep. I have since ordered a few back issues and signed up for the next 3 issues because I was that impressed with the issue I picked up (which was issue 58, picture below) and I wanted to read more.
A week or so into my break, I decided to visit my local library in person, which I hadn’t done in quite a while. When I was looking through the non-fiction section, I came across a book called ‘Soul Shift’ by Rachel Macy Stafford (featured in the image above). From the first chapter of this book, it felt like it was also written for me in that moment. It focuses on taking care of our well-being. And Like many of us, the author struggled with this need to be constantly productive and trying to meet the needs of others but not making our needs a priority.
I ended up purchasing a copy of this book so that I could take my time with it, as it felt like something that I would like to revisit on a regular basis. And so I didn’t feel the need to rush because of the limited time of a library loan.
I am grateful for taking that visit to my local library on that day, as I may never have discovered this book in a sea of millions (billions?) of books that are out there. I feel like these two things (the magazine and book) really helped me to realise what I needed and, in a way, helped me give myself permission to take a pause and just be for a while. (Though I realise that I should not need to give myself permission for this, I don’t need to earn rest; I should just be able to rest when I need it, no questions asked.)
In previous posts, I have mentioned that I have been trying to balance my device usage by taking different steps to give myself a break from screens and finding analog alternatives, but during most of this year my device usage was up quite a bit and a lot of it was based around some sort of productivity. So, I decided that at the end of September and most of October, I wanted to get back to that balance, and I started with minimal device usage for productivity; if I was to use devices, it had to be for entertainment or relaxation purposes only (like watching a movie, playing a video game or listening to music, audiobooks or some ambience while reading).
Obviously this isn’t possible for everyone, but luckily for me I don’t have the pressure of needing to be on devices all the time for productivity or work purposes. If you are looking to balance your time, try using an office-hours approach; make some boundaries around when you can use devices for productivity or scrolling on social media and when you can’t. This will help with adding some balance to your use of devices.
It took some time to resist the urge to turn my computer on to do something productive, to want to do more, to tick another thing off my list, but slowly I have come to a place where I don’t feel the need to turn it on every day.
I still have ideas and half-finished projects that I would like to share, but I keep reminding myself that there is no due date or deadline for when I need to share these things and that things don’t need to line up perfectly with some idea I have in my head of how they should look.
I have also been having a lot of issues with my main computer the last few months, and so turning it on feels like a traumatic experience. Every time I turn it on, it freezes, and it can take me 30 minutes or more to get it to start functioning properly. I do have a laptop which I am using more while it’s acting up, but it is the computer I do a lot of things on because it has bigger storage and is better for editing videos on. It has honestly been driving me crazy, but I am trying to use this as a lesson in patience, instead of letting it stress me out too much.
I have been using this ‘Rest’ time to find joy in other things, like doing cozy hobbies that are calming for my brain and have no pressure to be ‘something’. Spending time outside, going for walks and taking pictures of the new spring blossoms and the creatures that call our garden home. (Which ended up inspiring me to take some more footage around our garden to feature in some more videos for my focus and relaxation channel.) And watching some more nostalgic Movies and TV Shows.
I’ve been thinking about writing about this for a couple of weeks now; I even started writing some thoughts in my journal about what I wanted to say. I knew there was a lesson here, one that I wanted to share, but I wasn’t exactly sure what I wanted to say, so I gave myself time to find my words and learn from what I was experiencing instead of feeling the need to rush to say something.
In today’s society, there is this need to rush or to do more with the hours we have, to optimise every single moment of the day, but here’s the thing: ‘We as Humans’ can’t function properly without rest. The more we try to be productive or fill every single moment with distractions and not allow our body and mind to rest, the more likely we are to feel burned out or just completely miss out on other aspects of our lives. (I may have said things like this before, but that’s because it is also something I need to remind myself of again and again: that it’s okay to slow down and just be still for a while and not need to fill all the moments of the day with a task or distraction.)
I have been trying to put my phone down, take breaks away from devices or projects or even just household jobs to find stillness or to spend time with the people I care about. It can be so easy to get caught up in things like the need to be constantly productive or get distracted by our devices that we miss out on those little moments in life where joy sits.
So this is another little reminder that you don’t have to earn rest; you are allowed to make time for yourself. Whatever it is that has been distracting you, it will be there when you get back to it. So take some time off where you can to prioritise whatever your needs are. It’s okay to prioritise you.
If you would like some suggestions on different ways to find ‘Rest ’, I have included some suggestions in the PDF that’s available to download in my first edition of The Joyful Journal *. It centres around a Slow New Year Reset, but it can be used at any time when you want to take a pause or reset your goals.
*The Joyful Journal is a subscriber-only series, but it is free to subscribe to my blog if you would like to check it out.
Until next time, take care of yourselves,
Erin.
P.s If you would also like to listen to some ambient sounds or calming music when practising your own moments of reflection or stillness, check out some of the relaxation videos that are a part of my Focus Library. I hope to share some more soon to help you sit down for some more mindful moments.
And as always, if you’re going through a difficult time, you don’t have to do it alone; confide in someone close to you, a trustworthy friend or family member or talk to a health professional; it’s their job to help people through difficult times and situations. Also, please remember to be kind to yourself.
Disclaimer – This post is not sponsored and doesn’t contain any affiliate links; any links included are for reference only in case you are interested in checking out a mentioned link or purchasing a reviewed product. Check out my full Disclaimers here, including AI use on my blog.
Credits: All Photos featured in this post were taken by me (Erin Applebee).
Featured Media: Breathe Magazine & Soul Shift by Rachel Macy Stafford ( I do not own the copyright of these items; they are owned and copyrighted by the original publishers and authors of these works. I am just sharing them because I enjoyed them.)
The Art featured on the cover of issue 58 of Breath Magazine is by Artist Julie Chi
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